Week 5 and half

He's gone. This is actually the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. Him being here was GREAT. Oh my god did we have a great time just being together and hanging out. Most of the time we spent at his parents house just chilling. Today I'm a wreck. Work made me come in for 30 minutes. I was outside with the school age kids and I couldn't keep myself together. I just started crying. One of the kids was comforting me. I haven't been able to control it. I'm praying tomorrow is easier. I won't be hearing from him for a few days. I've never gone 24 hours without hearing his voice! This is the scarest thing in the world for me right now. And the worse part is I can't seem to find much support aroud me. I know I have Megan and Jamie, but after that I don't really have anyone else to turn to when those lonely nights get hard. No one seems to understand sometimes. I can't do this alone. I thought I might be able to but I can't. I'm trying to be strong, sometimes I surprise myself that I'm stronger then I thought, other times I feel like I'm worthless. I'm trying my best to be that perfect person for everyone. But in the end it seems I let myself down. I'm still debating if I'm going to try and find a new job this summer. Better pay would be great and it would really help me save up more for our future. But I love the kids. I'm still just waiting till summer, once that comes I can work full time. I'm really excited about starting up home care once I get to laughlin AFB. 6 or less kids! OMG thats going to be crazy easy compared to what I'm use to =)I hope everyone prays for austen, that he stays safe and out of trouble. I'm so scared and worried about him. I love him beyond words.